Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I have a 7 year old daughter to consider as well as my comfortable life I have worked hard all my life and will more than likely lose to her if we ever split. I am not a quitter, I am willing and do support her, she has absolutely no money worries at all, I pay for everything, house luxury car and utilities, the lot.
She just left her 2 day a week job because it was making her depressed and sick. I do 9 hours a day including a half day Saturday to keep my business going, all that is expected from her is to pick up and drop off our daughter from school and be a mother.
What has happened over the years is we have drifted apart, communication has broken down. All I get from her in any discussion is negativity, how I dont spend enough time with her and our daughter, how I tune out and surf the net on the laptop instead of talking.
When I get told about all the things I do wrong it is easier to just shut up then to argue. Heaven forbid if was to argue back.
Why Is My Wife Always Upset With Me? Maybe You’re a Copycat Husband
If there is a worse possible way to take something then that is the way she takes it. I never judge her or demand anything from her yet if I make a comment like "gee that chicken you cooked was spicy" she would reply with something along the lines "I know its not good enough for you, or I cant ever get any thing right for you.
I am often wondering "where did that come from". She is cranky and moody, she screams at our daughter and carries on about anything that is asked of her. I have never hit her, I have never started a physical fight with anyone. I could see hatred in her eyes. Now I am happiest at work doing my thing, I have no close friends anymore, dont want to go anywhere, I am unfit and I am probably mildly depressed myself. She has had a stint in hospital to change meds recently 5 weeks Do you think she is Just depressed, or with the nasty moody attitude do you think there is more to it?
Am I doing anything wrong? As soon as I try to get close to her I get pushed away. Hello boxhead, no matter how ill your wife is, physical abuse or emotional abuse for that matter is not acceptable under any circumstance, and boundaries need to be set. Perhaps because you have been with your wife for so long you are unable to see how serious things have gotten, this goes far beyond being 'just depressed'.
Partners need suppot when living with someone who is long-term mentally unwell, so regardless of whether you feel you may be depressed in a medical sense, I think it would be a good idea for you to seek some support from a psychologist, but ideally it may be worth the two of you having a joint session to work out things in your marriage; it sounds like there may well be some underlying resentment and frustration understandable and if it doesn't get out in the open then things will only get worse from here I'm afraid.
How old is your daughter? I suffer from a variety of mental illnesses and I've hit rock bottom a number of times. I can only imagine the worry, fear, resentment, frustration, and loneliness my partner has had to endure. So I completely get where you are coming from, it's a tough job and I don't think enough credit is given to those who love people with a mental illness.
I want to start by saying whether it's depression or something else, you're wife is emotionally unwell. It can be really difficult to see the world through the eyes of someone with ill mental health.
They can't think rationally, logically, or practically, this is not by choice. It can be lonely, scary, ruin your self worth, resilience and tolerance, and put you in a place we're you feel raw, exposed, and unlovable. It's possible that the only way that your wife is able to cope with how she thinks and feels is to be defensive.
As you know, it's not easy to speak with someone who is defensive. Having said that communication is something that you will both need to work on together. It's not useful to take the "well it's easier if I shut up" route, and likewise it's not helpful for your wife to become sensitive to everything you say.
Have you tried telling her that you love her and that you appreciate every thing she does for you and your family? This positive reassurance is important don't forget she feels worthless. You could then let her know how important your relationship and your family is and because of this you'd like to get some support to help support her. You could offer to go to an appointment with her, or ask if she'd prefer you to see someone separate.
I know it's really difficult to be the one who feels like they're working hard, and making sacrifices.Are you always trying to figure out why your wife is always angry?
It this is you, join the club. I have actually gone through this same situation and was actually not very sure I would be able to rescue my marriage. If you want to keep your wife from being angry but you don't know how to go about doing so to make your marriage better again continue to read on for ways to improve your marriage. In order to solve any problem you have to know how to what caused the issue. Oftentimes, men will assume that their wives are angry at them when this is not necessarily the case.
Your wife could be suffering from a mild depression caused by an imbalance of the chemicals in her body.
Or you could be cause of all her anger. At the very beginning of my marriage, for like 6 years my wife and I were always angry. Basically, I marriage was a train wreck and my wife made it very clear that I was the reason she was upset all the time. Even if it wasn't me I really believed that she felt that it was me. This just caused by angst and confusion and it begin to ruin my marriage and make me stressed and angry.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse? To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here! I made up my mind that being angry wasn't going to make the situation any better. I didn't take the blame for everything that was going wrong, but I did decide that if this marriage was going to work that I would accept the responsibility for putting it back on track.
I decided to get my marriage back on track. Believe me it was hard, and I didn't have any assistance in regards to keeping my marriage together so I basically had to find tips on my own. The very first thing I did was refuse to consider a divorce. I firmly made the decision that I wasn't even going to think about divorce at all even though at times with everything that was going on in my marriage it was always lurking in my mind.
Honestly, there are even times when I wanted a divorce. But I made the decision to save my marriage. I also decided that I would just stop trying to be right all the time in an effort to win an argument. It didn't help me one bit.
Arguing didn't make my wife change so what was the point in fighting. Making a decision to stop the fighting has allowed me to turn my marriage around full circle to a point where I am happy than I could ever imagine.
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here.
These days there are lots of partnerships on the brink of getting a separation or divorce. There are lots of partnerships which might have been preserved if perhaps they'd the correct relationship issues. To prevent your own separation and divorce and save your marriage the best set of measures have to be considered even if your partner is actually resistant to the idea.
Numerous partners get to a place within their relationship were 1 or even each partners choose to finish the actual relationship, however whenever 1 partner gets this news and is also caught off guard they're surprised as well as devastated. The only real ideas working with the un-expected partner thoughts is actually associated with unhappiness, frustration as well as how do you to prevent the following from occurring.
With a lot of problems to conquer the actual un-expecting partner continues to be in love as well as really wants to help save the actual relationship. Even though you will find concerns and difficulties within the relationship, anyone may really make a difference when they obtained the correct relationship guidance.Making the decision to leave a marriage is scary: There's often a deep fear of being alone, not to mention the possibility of an unknown future.
So many stick with mediocrity, settling for low-level pain and dissatisfaction instead. But that's not your best bet: "Staying in a seriously unhappy marriage can have long-term effects on our mental and emotional health," says Carrie Cole, a couples therapist and Master Certified Gottman Therapist by the Gottman Institute. Research shows that people in bad marriages usually have low self-esteem, struggle with anxiety and depression, and have a higher rate of illness than those who don't.
People feel sad and grieve when they decide to let go — but people who divorce do recover emotionally, and Cole says most find new relationships. In fact, "one statistic reported that 85 percent of those who divorce remarry within five years," she says.Help! My Wife is Always Angry with Me!
If any these signs hit home for you, it's time to take a hard look at whether this is a marriage you want to stay in. One warning sign would be that your relationship is totally sexless, says sex and relationship therapist Megan FlemingPh. After all, she says, it's intimacy that separates a romantic relationship from all other sorts of relationships you might have. Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationshipsays that a lack of visible physical affection — like kissing or hugging — is also indicative of a real problem.
When something comes up in life, whether that's a work event or any accomplishment and your partner isn't the first person you're sharing it with — or one of the firsts, Fleming says that it may be that "you prefer to get your needs mets outside the relationship. Our instincts can often tell us first when a relationship just isn't working — but we don't always trust that voice, says couples therapist Susan Pease Gadoua, co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels.
Drill down on that initial instinct and ask yourself more specific questions. If you find your responses are things like, "I don't feel safe to express myself, I don't feel respected and haven't felt happy in a long time," that's a sign that things have gone awry — and you shouldn't ignore it.
And like a muscle, the more you trust your gut, the easier it becomes to decipher that voice — which comes from your heart — from the voice in your head. Many women stay in relationships longer than they should because they tend to put the needs of others before their own. And since women often naturally take on the role of caretakers, they can lose parts of their own identity — and a sense of their own needs — in the process.
One way to distinguish between a run-of-the-mill marital rut where you've, say, fallen into boring routines and don't have much sex anymore and a loveless marriage is to ask yourself how long the situation has been this way, and whether it's been steadily worsening. And sooner is always better to avoid passing the point of no return. By then, it's often too late — the problems in the marriage can corrode it to the point where it may be unsalvageable.
So play it safe and consider scheduling a therapy session if you're struggling. If you often imagine a happy happy is the key word here future without your partner, that's a major sign that things aren't right.
This is a part of the emotional detachment process, during which you may try to convince yourself that you don't care anymore so that the eventual separation feels less painful, says relationship therapist Jamie Turndorf, Ph.
Gadoua suggests checking out real apartment listings online, and paying attention to how you feel. As you click through, check in with your emotions. If excitement or relief is your prominent emotion rather than fear or apprehensionit may be a sign to acknowledge that there are serious problems in your marriage. That way, if you ultimately decide to leave, "you can do so with some peace of mind," she says.
If you've given up fighting, but feel further away than ever, it's a sign that you've reached a crossroads. However, you might still be able to turn it around.
In other words, the love could still be there, but you just can't access it. To get back in touch with those feelings, turn toward your partner emotionally —which creates closeness and connection—rather than ignoring them or responding negatively, which creates distance and disengagement.
It's up to you to decide whether you've got it in you to turn toward your husband and give it one last go, or whether you've maxed out your ability to keep fighting for your relationship. According to Cole, there are four behaviors that are super-destructive to relationships.
If one or more is present in your relationship, you could be on the fast track to loveless-ness if you're not there already. Every time you criticize your partner — by attacking, blaming, and putting the fault on them by flinging negative statements like "You're always running late," or "You never do anything right" — you corrode your connection.
By being defensive and refusing to accept responsibility, or attacking in response to feedback from your partner, you chip away at the trust and goodwill in your marriage.
If you have an attitude of contemptand call your partner names or make stinging, sarcastic remarks, you imply that you're superior and your partner is defective.One of my private Shogun Method clients was James, an entrepreneur from Kentucky. He was at his emotional limit with Lauren, his extremely doomy-and-gloomy wife. Why is my wife always so miserable? What should I do? In short, you can turn a toxic relationship around and make it into a happy, and long-lasting one.
It summarizes all the information in this long, comprehensive guide in a handy, checklist-type PDF. And yet it may very well be the technique that will save your marriage and your sanity. I mean, you might make her smile for a while, but sooner or later she snaps back to her negative self.
You, like most guys, are probably unaware of this rule in marriage:. And instead of making her happy, this drives her absolutely MAD inside.
No woman wants to be tied to a WEAK man. That makes her frustrated, and that frustration manifests in her negative behavior. Guess what — it goes even deeper than this. It turned out Becky had this annoying habit of blowing things WAY out of proportion. Worse than that, her so-called drama was almost always self-inflicted. And so he wanted to know what he could do about it. Drama creates the emotional juice which keeps women alive. Download your free copy of the Negative Wife Action Checklist to learn what it is.
Click here now. Stop making the mistake of trying to make her happy. More on female psychology in just a moment. Think about this for a moment. Because nice guys are terrified of creating drama. Women are addicted to the emotional rollercoaster like a dependent crack head. Everything will make total sense in the next section. They may SAY they know what they want….
They may SAY they know what their ideal man is like…. They may SAY they know the kind of relationship they want….
They also feel pain — drama, pressure, uncertainty, hurt feelings, etc. And later, their boredom will turn into irritation. I mean, it makes perfect sense, right? Imagine what your life would be like if you had everything you wanted:. It would probably be sweet at first.However, this usually has the opposite effect; when you feel down, you do not want someone to tell you what they do because they do not fully understand what you are going through.
So, instead of telling your wife what to do, simply listen to her. Try to be attentive and not judge her feelings, even if you do not understand them. Having someone to speak with is sometimes more helpful than having someone tell you what to do, so try to be that person for your wife. Like this page? Share it :. Simpson Criminal Record: We reveal the O.
Simpson Criminal Record and what crimes he committed. Criminal Record: We reveal the T. Catch a Cheater How to Catch a Cheater. Cheater Phone Track!
How To Deal With A Negative Spouse
A wife is considered as a joy to the man's heart. Happy wives make happy homes, but what if your wife seems unhappy? Do you also think of the reason behind "Why my wife is always angry and unhappy? The reason to unhappy wife could be numerous but one of the most common reason is wives look for a better bond with you as the time in the marriage increases. If your wife seems unhappy too, you can try to behave in these ways: Try discovering the root cause : The reason for your unhappy wife could be your inactive role in looking after the kids, not helping her in the chores, financial instability, lack of romance.
You should not behave in an interrogative manner to look for why my wife is unhappy? Try to communicate with her : You should not keep your concern of unhappy wife to yourself. You should try to communicate with her so that she feels more connection, love, and understanding and that may eliminate her insecurities and angst. Be attentive towards her : The cause behind your unhappy wife maybe your inattentiveness towards her. Probably you've already been in a marriage for years now and you don't show enough curiosity towards her now.
She might be still missing her old dating days with you when you were both in college. Make her feel she is important for you and give her all the attention she deserves. Listen to her : When your unhappy wife is trying to express herself for why your wife seems unhappy?
Be a little patient towards her, listen to her in order to understand her part of the story as to interpret why your wife seems unhappy?
My Wife Is Always Angry and Unhappy: Wife Is Always Angry and Negative
Show your emotions : Women love men who express. Show your unhappy wife that you do care and love her the most. You may have those emotions for her somewhere deep in your heart but you don't express it now. Express that you love her, care for her, feels that she is important. No need to cage those emotions up as they vanish with time if you don't keep expressing them. Give her time : Your time is the most important thing you can give to anyone.
Your unhappy wife may be looking for more time from you. Probably you're just going to your office, coming back home and just eating with her and them sleeping. This is why your wife seems unhappy. Talk to her, spend your weekends with her.The difference between a happy and unhappy marriage often comes down to these six things. I'm not here to profess some grand happiness formula for marriage, seeing as I've only experienced this one life, with this one man, over a short eight years.
Nor will I pretend to know all of the intricate, deeply seeded reasons for your own unhappiness. Happiness is wildly inconsistent and subjective. But I do know a thing or two about chronic unhappiness, especially in an unhappy marriage. The way it simmers under the surface of our lives, building up pressure, and how each heavy sigh is like an emotional relief valve. I know how easy it is to dip into the shadowy parts of a marriage and then mistake it for all of the darkness in my life, even the parts that belong to me.
In talking with my married girlfriends and analyzing the relationships around me including the one in my housethere does seem to be some consistent habits among the chronically unhappy. The beginning of a relationship gives us such a high, such a warmth, and it'll linger for years — through fights and changes and settling down. Blame it on the dopamine surge coursing through our love-struck brains, or chalk it up to hindsight nostalgia and a well-edited memory.
Regardless, most of us have reminisced about a specific season in our lives, typically that new-love phase, and said, "But can't we just get back to that place? Oh honey, that's sweet, but no. No you will never go back to that place, no matter the effort and pleading. That warmth was never meant to last. It was a fleeting, temporary hormone-driven season, as they all are. If your motivation is to recapture something behind you, then you'll never fully move forward.
And there's good stuff ahead, too. Most of our Happily Ever After expectations are shattered within a year or two but what about the high expectations we have for our husbands? The things they should do and say and think, and how we expect them to be at any given time. Don't get me wrong; some expectations are good and appropriate — they keep us accountable and striving for growth. But what about the expectations that our husbands are consistently falling short of?
We think things like, "He should be more romantic," and "If he loved me, he would want to help with the laundry," and, to varying degrees, "He should do and think exactly as I do and do it how I want it done, the minute I want it done. How many of our expectations are a wee bit unreasonable?Home Mental Health Depression.
Every product is independently selected by our editors. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission. This illness erodes emotional and sexual intimacy and suffuses a relationship with pessimism and resentment, anger and isolation, she explains. Not sure if your spouse is depressed?
And trying to fight or make peace with this often misunderstood illness on your own raises risks for both of you. The longer a non-depressed spouse lives with a depressed partner, the higher his or her own risks for depression, the researchers found. The deeper a depressed spouse sinks, the tougher it may be to finally treat the depression—and the greater the risk for alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, and even suicide, according to the Department of Health and Human Services HHS.
The stakes are high, but the odds are that things will improve. An estimated 19 million Americans are currently going through depression. But there was an unexpected ray of hope: One in four said depression had a positive outcome for their marriages. But when you do, your chances for significant improvement are 80 to 90 percent. Almost everyone gets some relief. These are 17 other facts psychologists wish people knew about depression.
Genetic predisposition, or a family history of mental illness, can make some people more susceptible than others to depression; any number of factors can trigger the slide, including prolonged or severe stress, financial problems, a big loss or change in your life, the birth of a child, parenthood, and even some health conditions and prescription drugs, Walfish says. Up to half of all women and men in unhappy marriages may be depressed, perhaps due to marriage problemsthe researchers added.
Though it may be a case of chicken-and-egg, as undiagnosed depression can cause relationship problems too, Walfish adds. If you think your partner may be depressed, your first step is to pay attention to the clues—and help him or her get a diagnosis and treatment. These steps can help. Depression can come on slowly, almost imperceptibly.
They may feel too lethargic or withdrawn or may think they can fix it alone. Depression may be the reason your spouse is working extremely long hours, drinking too much, using recreational drugs, or looking for thrills in risky activities. It can also look different in men and women, she adds. Letting a depressed person sink low before offering help is an old-school approach borrowed from the early days of alcohol and drug addiction treatment.
But the reasoning behind it is flawed and dangerous. Long-term depression is harder on your marriage, tougher to treat, and more likely to recur—plus, it leaves its victim in despair, Walfish says.
The most chilling risk: It leaves open the very real possibility of suicide. About 60 percent of people who attempt suicide have major or minor depression or another mood disorder—and depressed men are four times more likely than depressed women to take their own lives, according to the National Institutes of Mental Health. You deserve to feel better. Next week, I can go on Wednesday or Friday.
Dozens of health conditions—including heart disease, diabetes, lupus, viral infections, and chronic pain —can trigger the same symptoms as depression, Walfish notes. So can scores of prescription medications, including some birth-control pills and drugs that treat acne, herpes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and cancer.
You need an ally in the room. Up to 80 percent of people report seeing an improvement within four to six weeks of starting treatment, according to statistics from the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Usually, the road back is relatively simple: antidepressants, counseling, or a combination of the two, they report. That said, recovery may take time and patience, Walfish says. There may be an initial trial-and-error period while you try various antidepressants or see whether various therapy techniques, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and interpersonal counseling, are helpful.
Thinking about starting therapy?